tears

it was one of those days that tears come easily. I missed my dad a lot. I felt like staying in bed all day and really had to force myself to leave the house. My heart aches. I am tired in my heart. I keep hearing about relationships that seem to lose their luster. How do life-long friendships last and why is there such a difference in commitment between friendships and marriages? I'm holding on to hope for all these marriages out there but it's a dark place of hope with only a small lamp guiding the way. I want my friends and family to be full, not "getting by" or "making it work" with their partners. Where does our ambition go? The drive that tells someone "I'm not going anywhere?" Somewhere down the road we/he/she is gone and the indescribable fervor is taken as well. Ayzosh, take heart.

So I sat in our big chair, after peeling myself off for an hour or so to meet friends for dinner/drinks, watched a couple reruns and tuned in the depressing melody of Joshua Radin.