When asked to write about heroes, one 5th grader notes Rosa Parks and the other Run DMC. Thank you pop culture.

the void

This was one train of thought I had about Uncle Shelby. Its the selfish part of what I'll miss. There's more, like his example of strength to live on without both parents or any of his brothers, his love for aunt clare that represented struggle and perseverence followed by a depth you don't see these days. He was so calm in his strength, but fierce with his passion for each of us to reach our potential, no excuses no matter the hardship.

The "25 random things" about yourself on Facebook was an internet phenomen they say. When you really look at those types of things, it makes sense. We all want to be heard, to be thought of as unique or special. Therefore, the opportunity to share a whopping 25 of those unique-ities about oneself fills a very present void. The void can also be filled by faith – in a God that constantly affirms our identity as a specifically created being.

Sometimes that little (or gaping) place in my heart has been filled by my parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles that have seen my soul form since I was little and exclaim at the smallest of feats. The moment my mom brought me a Gatorade to my little league game, even though I didn’t play enough to sweat, I felt like a star. I remember sitting on my front porch of “the yellow house” while my dad rolled a joint (yes, didn’t know it back then, but now I know why pot smells like home) and we talked about life. He made me feel special as we sat in silence while fishing or he taught me a new bball move. My uncle Shelby, oldest Miller brother, stepped in when his baby brother, my dad, passed away. He would call and ask about our report cards, check on our bball skills, come watch games, scream louder than anyone else when each of us walked across the stage at graduation. I remember when I was really little and he taught all us Miller girls a song “I’m a pretty little girl, with a pretty little figure so stay away boys till I get a little bigger.” He made us sing it every time we came to visit. He reminded me that I was unique, worth great things and destined for more than mediocrity. He has been a voice in my head when I question whether I should challenge myself in my education, career, athletics or love. I picture him telling me how proud he is of me and asking the tough questions that kept me accountable. And I knew that if he didn’t, my Aunt Clare would fill right in.

My Uncle Shelby passed away last night. My little heart is sad. It is the ending of the Miller era, he being the oldest and last surviving Miller brother. In many ways its like my dad’s death all over again, but this time as an adult. His legacy will help fill this void.

brain-break meets productivity police.

Sometimes when I’m bored and needing a brain-break I peruse blogs. I start with the one’s specifically related to Young Professionals or Leadership-esque stuff, such as myself (ha), then I slip over to the ones that brighten my day with an obscure story or update on close friends life. I feel guilty. I have an overactive conscience. Even if I truly believe I am more productive when I take a few minutes to breathe and “shift gears” I still feel guilty like the productivity police are going to come around the computer and shut me down. True confession.

heart heavy.

I've contemplated writing about my trip home for the past few weeks. I am still wrestling with some of what occupied my thoughts while home. The light, laughter-infused moments were plentiful - dinner parties, sister time, watching ruby (now 2 yrs old!) play with the month-old pups in the back yard, live music with the Hillbilly Potentates and Aaron's new band, embraces from people that know my soul without knowing my life.

The heavy stuff came as I heard about marriages and relationships that are such a burden that some have lost hope. My friend Devi wrote (her blog is great) of a wedding day in which she looked at the bride, and though beautiful as she was, Devi saw hope capturing the bride's expression."There is a swelling expectancy inside for a better, sweeter life that is literally just an hour or two away. " I am a hopeful romantic and I hate to see that hope chipped away in the eyes of people I love. Some seemed weary, others bitter and some simply discouraged. I don't have the answers but it made my heart heavy to see what I am often reminded of - we are fallible and the union of two people is only worth hoping for when God is given room to redeem us, as individuals, but even more miraculously, as he brings us together. More thoughts on this, but this is the most succinct I can make these thoughts as of today.

On a lighter note, here are pics from the fun stuff...

From Spring Breakish Homeland

Myself, Megan and Keely Rae from our unplanned-twinky run/jog session

From Spring Breakish Homeland

My little Ruby - what a beautiful little person.

From Spring Breakish Homeland

Big brother Arthur, Kristi and nephew Parker's 1st bday cake!

From Spring Breakish Homeland

Ruby and my little bro - she screamed "roooowwwwlin! rollin!"

From Dinner/Game Night at Megs

Dinner Party with good people... smattering of new and old friends.

From Dinner/Game Night at Megs

chopper buttfart (megs dog) with booty in the face.

From Dinner/Game Night at Megs

Surprise Leah! The magazine was good... I was just reading.

From Dinner/Game Night at Megs

Megan and her following.

blow. check for color & consistency. breathe and repeat if necessary

Does anyone else blow their nose then promptly open the tissue to see what just came out of their stuffed nostrils? For the past couple weeks I’ve had a head-cold, the most long-lasting, isolated and literal HEAD COLD I think I’ve ever had. Therefore, this is common routine, much to the chagrin of my coworker a few cubes over, I’m sure. I remember my mom was able to gauge the progress of my recovery by the color and consistency of my hard work so now its just second nature for me. Is it for you? Pray tell… everything you ever wanted to know about phlegm.

Sidenote: After closer examination and discussion with my coworkers (not about the boogers, but the head-cold-ness of the situation) I have kinda come to the conclusion that I have allergies. I am not sold on this yet bc I've never had nor want to have allergies.

filtered info... feast your eyes on this beauty

For a visual explanation of why this is better than google see here. I like Dan Roam so this is just a fun visual either way.

Not sure if I'm the last to find out about this site, but Guy Kawasaki and a couple other information superheroes have created this great resource to help you find your little nuggets of goodness (all the news/resources for whatever topic you're searching for).

Enjoy and tell me if you've seen this already...

x L

I was in Spain this week...

I get bored at work sometimes. I need a little spice in my life and oftentimes my cube doesn't suffice. I go places. Each week I pick a different picture from my adventures, change my background pic on my computer, close all the windows and pretend I am there.

From Spain '07

This week was Spain. In the fall of '07, while living in England, I was fortunate to visit my friend Jason in Granada for a week. Since finishing up college, I made a decision to visit him every year he lived in Spain, so I did. This was my 3rd and final trip to see Jason since he just moved back to the states before heading south for the winter. Back to my escape... we were standing on a ledge in order to look out over the tourists at the captivating sunset. To the east was the Alhambra, sitting in front of the snowcapped Sierra Nevada's, and the west were rich orange, violet, coral hues spreading across the sky. These were the colors that inspired me to get pastels when I was in elementary school (I have yet to come close to recreating a good sunset, but I still try). We had hiked up the cobblestone streets, bought a couple Alhambra beers, chatted with the gypsies until the cops ran them off and then we watched. We stood and soaked it all in.