Today I took a bath. It was great for 2 reasons. 1) my flatmate has great taste in purchasing tubs and got one of those great ones that are taller on one end so you can comfortably recline into it.
2) I discovered my new favorite bar of soap. It's an exfoliating bar i bought at Tesco but hadn't opened yet. I love to exfoliate. This bar of soap made me feel like anything on me was getting nicely scrubbed off (not in an intense way, but nicely).
I'm not a clean-freak so the drive to exfoliate isn't really about an OCDish tendency. Rather, I am intrigued and driven to expose myself to true feelings, ones without barriers. If I have beer and liquor spilled on me (not because I'm an alcoholic, but a barmaid) I hesitate to touch people bc i don't want to rub the guck on them.
My mom is a vital part of my life. I don't know if it is more who she is or what she brings out in me that lifts her in my thoughts. She reminds me of the feelings involved in every interaction. She helps me slough off the residue and interact on a real level. Recently I had a few experiences where I was surprised by my reactions. I didn't really FEEL bad or good about them, but walked away indifferent and maybe even removed. Sometimes that is good, but in these situations I realized I was losing a sensitivity that I value in my life. I remember seasons of prayer for a sensitivity to people, a connection to something deeper that may also bring a level of responsibility. Today in the bath, with this wonderful new exfoliant, I was reminded of the need to slough off the barriers and seek a truer experience.
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