what i am excited about...

Whether I am regretful about leaving London or anxious about the next step, I am excited to see my family in a few weeks - and these little cuties are at the top of the list:

Cowboy Benjamin Isaac

and little Ruby Sierra

close your eyes and tap your heels together 3 times...

I want to do this only to find where I end up when I say "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." Where is home? My heart is in Ricky today. I cried tonight as I thought of leaving this new home.

The pub is somewhat of "Cheers" atmosphere - "where everybody knows your name" and all. I love that. There is a lot of work to do to make the pub really thrive and I am torn between wanting to dig my heels in and be part of a really positive change from within the pub and moving on to a different industry for my next professional step.

I have people who will defend me if someone winds me up too much or steps over the line at the pub. I have friends that want to make sure I'm happy and invite me into their lives enough to celebrate promotions and big days for them. I have intertwined my life with people here. Are they all kindred spirits that have deep talks about our souls and spiritual ponderings? No, but I don't think you find that in every place you go and under every roof. I have a handful of people I can share those things with and I value them greatly - all of them currently living thousands of miles away from me.

So what makes us stay in one place vs. another? I applied for a job in Durango, one of the coolest towns in my opinion, at a university doing leadership programing for college students - hello! sounds superb, right? Then I think about what I'm leaving, and who I'm leaving here and my heart sinks.

I won't miss being objectified at the pub; always feeling like being an American female sets the expectation of some sex-crazed, straight out of the "OC" type girl. I will be glad to drive my car and see people back home. I will miss being called Albuquerque by the Fosters boys because thats the only city my friend Dave could think of in relation to NM. I'll miss old man Johnny T - the oldest perv I've ever met that still makes me smile because I know he's lonely in there and just wants to see a pretty face smile back at him sometimes. I won't miss the anti-American comments I hear every week. Those got old real fast. I will miss my friends. I'll miss getting fruit at one little store, eggs at another, soy milk at Iceland, sausage at the butchers, film at the photo shop, bread at the bakery and cookies at M&S. It makes me appreciate Wal-Mart while also being regretful for feeding into a system that eliminated the local grocers that make life more personal.

So maybe I haven't reached the point where people here know that I pee my pants more frequently than most 24-yr olds, that I like sports, am the middle of five children, have a passion for thoughtful living and laughter, etc. etc. but I feel like I am at the foundation of those relationships - like that is on the horizon but I'm squelching it. This is the point where I try to logic my way through by putting a value on this experience v. that one, or NM v. here. ugggh. Life is full of these crossroads and I have a feeling that, as long as you have invested in a place, it will be difficult to say good-bye and different to say hello to the next place you land.

I used to pray for someone to help me narrow options down - a husband, a dog, something that eliminates an option or necessitates another, but today it seems like that other variable may not be what I need.

Battersea Beer Festival!

Kristina and I decided to meet up in Clapham, a stop on her train journey home, on Thursday night. No plans at the time of departure but once I got off my train I knew what the night could hold - an adventure at the Battersea Beer Festival! The poster said it all - actually not really. The poster left a bit to be desired, but "over 100 real ales from all over the UK" caught my attention. Drinking a pint of ale is like eating half a loaf of bread and it's not for the faint of heart. This is a man's drink, as was affirmed once we walked into the auditorium full of men. The ratio of men to women = 100:1, and I'm not joking.

We did the deal - 3 quid to get in, 2 quid each for a pint glass (i'm so proud of mine:) and cash bar for all the ale a girl could want! So it smelled of man in there for sure, but we endured for some good old-fashioned ale. We alternated turns picking out the best looking ones (beers, not men) and found a few (will include these once I find my brochure) quite tasty. We also met a handsome man we shall call "marky-mark." He joined us on our tour de ale and provided lively conversation.

All in all, this is what makes London great - festivals with a bunch of random people. Maybe next time it will be around the topic of music or fashion, but either way I love access to things like this. Cheers to festivals!

Mick and co.

Do you have those people that help you get through something? They may never know that what they are doing is channeling energy and courage for you, but it is. My friends Mick and Allen do this... and Paul too. Since the second week I worked at Druids Mick and I have had a bond of music. I never thought of myself as a music buff, mostly because I can never remember the name of the artists I listen to, but somehow I've risen above this minor detail and connected on a music level with Mick. He loves Keb' Mo and I introduced him to Jehro. We agree on Amos Lee and a host of Country boys. He's not positive about Teitur and I now have a few songs in my collection from John Martyn. I want to be his daughter and sometimes the glimmer in his eye makes me think I bring out his youth.

Today I told Mick I was leaving back to the states. He's fielded my questions about life and decisions through the past several months. I mean, this is a pub, that's what we do - drink and talk. He drinks and I talk:) He said a few things today that are gems.

Knowing I would be returning to my family, "Family is a funny thing. It can be such a bitch, but they're the best roots we've got. We may try to leave but they draw you back."

Leah, you know we love you and will miss you. You're the only reason we come to this pub. We'll soon be finding a new spot after you leave.

As he reached over the bar, held my cheeks in his hand and said, "If you were my daughter I'd love it." He doesn't know I don't have a dad and that he is one of many substitutes I've had over the years - he's the dad that talks to me about music, tries to simplify life because his never was and appreciates the unique things about me that I never think are noticed.

This silver euro-mullet, tattooed, British Harley-driving, wonderful father of 3 amazing women and dedicated husband will be remembered.

Ktina

Kristina has been my friend for many years now. I recently wrote a post about finding friends here in London, but I mean British friends. That qualifier is because Kristina is my American friend I made the trek over the pond for in the first place. She called one day and suggested I come visit. Initially we had planned a week or two visit, but after the wedding (of course there was a romantic interest that may have bumped the urge to visit up a few notches) and a month of her wandering the streets of Watford without her friend Leah, we settled on a potentially extended visit. She and Rhys opened their home to me, found me a job at a local rugby pub, and invited me into their lives. Though tight quarters I was continually impressed by their willingness to share space with me, whether it be a place in the closet, a basket in the bathroom, or their friends. This is how I got to London and the platform to which my adventures have been realized. The time came where 3 people living together needed to return to 2 (them, obviously, not me and Ktina:) and I now live only 15 minutes away with 2 other wonderful people. It was a good season to live with my friends Kristina and Rhys and I am ever so thankful for their hospitality.

Kristina & Rhys



Us after a rugby game with good friend Dan.

cows

My flatmate and I were hungry and I had some mince in the freezer so I suggested something beefy - maybe the chilli he made the other night! I defrosted the beef and when it sizzled in the pan the aroma was perfect - the delicious scent of beef cooking. I hope we don't find out that red meat is really horrible or my blood type doesn't really do well with beef because I can't imagine that would go over so well with me.

friends. I have them!

I know that may sound funny, but after living in London for four months I have friends. It occurred to me as I was reading some lame article on a Catch Me if You Can copycat guy at the pub quiz and Chris walks by and says, "You alright, Leah?" Me: "yep, just flipping through this article." him: "ok, just making sure" as he gives a look of care that I'm ok and comfortable. He is one of my friends.

Nikki.
She and I may be one of those pairs of friends that don't make sense, at least that's what Guy says, but I appreciate her. She is generous with her time and resources. She'll jump behind the bar and help me out, remind me every five minutes to finish another cover letter and even be willing to sacrifice some time and energy so I can fill out an application that would take me back to the States.
Woohoo! I have friends! There has been investment and leaving this place, whenever that time may be, will be difficult.